Testimony of Conversion

Dr. Rodney K. Duke

I grew up in a family that regularly attended a church, but I did not know Jesus. We were just going through the motion of being nice, religious church people. That kind of religion did not impress me. Just before the beginning of 7^th grade an event occurred that did impress me. My house was utterly destroyed by a tornado, while I was home alone. During that moment of fear I made some sort of promise to God if he would save me. Once I was safe that promise did not mean much to me; however, that event turned my focus to an examination of what I did believe about God and the meaning of life and on what bases. I began a religious search that took about 7 years before it culminated in a Christian conversion.

    My search vacillated between two incompatible poles, although I was unaware of the incongruity at the time. On the one hand it was an intellectual search in which I looked for scientific proof and philosophical certainty of something to believe in.  On the other hand I was drawn to mysticism.  Actually, in both cases I was enticed by appeals to my pride. The intellectual appeal was to ask probing questions of Christians and then to try to find flaws with their arguments.   My apparent success made me feel superior to them.  My mystical gurus appealed to my pride in another way. They explained how my interest in their beliefs and my searching questions revealed my advance stage of spiritual enlightenment. Well, when someone told me that, I was enticed to believe whatever he or she told me in order to keep proving how spiritual I was.

    When I went on to college, majoring in physics and chemistry, I argued with the philosophy teacher, disputed with Christians, and taught a couple of people how to meditate.  To those on the outside, it appeared that I was self-confident and in charge of my life.  Inside, I was in despair. I knew that I had no purpose to pursue in college and that my life had no meaning. I could not just go through the motions of each expected step in life. After a semester of college, I dropped out and began hitchhiking around the country, not out of a search for adventure, but in desperation to find some meaning to my life. I traveled enough miles "by thumb" to go from LA to New York three times. I visited a missionary family, stayed at a Trappist monastery, explored a couple of communes, tasted the life of the Krishna devotees, and finally ended up at a "Jesus revival."

    Many events led up to attending that revival meeting. Although my expressed mystical beliefs leaned toward pantheism and the "oneness of the universe," my experiences kept pulling me toward a God who was reaching out to me and caring for me. This experience peaked at the revival. During a call to yield one’s life to Jesus, I urgently wanted to step forward, but I was too proud. However, after the main service, there was an "afterglow" service. A word of prophecy was spoken, and as it was, I was engulfed in 360-degree sound of a voice. I knew deeper than anything that I have ever known that I needed to give my life to Jesus so that he could put it back together. I gave him my life.

That moment my life did begin again. To belong to the creator of the universe, to be reconciled to God, that was where life became meaningful. My interests changed, my desires began to change, my career path changed. I gradually became reconciled to my parents, with whom I had been estranged.  When I read the Bible, I could hardly get enough. Its view of life and how life works made sense. I could see the reality of it around me.

    This was the beginning for me of a purposeful life. Over the years that divine foundation has held firm and my love for Jesus has grown. I’m glad that I belong to him. In relationship with and service to him I found meaning.