I never knew
I could love someone so much,
Let alone, so deeply.
I've never been so sure before,
That I could love someone like this--
So pure and true.
I didn't know
Love was so strong,
Until I loved you.
There's no controlling it,
I can't stop it,
I'm trapped in your world.
All I know for sure,
Is the one thing I thought I'd never feel--
How much I love you...

October 20, 1999

Smile

Lay back and close your eyes.

Everything will pass,
And you'll forget what
Just happened.

Smile at the world
And keep walking.

There is nothing without lies,
Little secrets we keep.

Just smile...

June 26, 2000

The More, the Less

The more I try to let go,
The tighter you grab.

The more I hurt,
The less you seem to care.

The more I worry,
The less I see.

The more I die,
The more you live.

July 24, 2000

Behind

Don't look at me like that,
Or call my name when you are gone.
It's all over and you don't care.

Don't walk into my life,
Not after you destroyed it.
It's been over with and I don't care.

Don't turn away from me
Not after you turned from me.
I won't be left Behind,
This time it will be you I leave
BEHIND.

January 22, 2001

She

She closes her eyes,
pulls up her sleeves,
and slowly sighs...
Life is too short to waste,
it's too long to speed through,
just savor its taste.
Looking down, clutching her fists,
she slowly slits her wrists.
Grasping the tiny blade,
She pushes deeper,
until the cut is made.
Looking up and around,
she cries and sits,
then falls to the ground.
Blinking her glossy eyes,
she stares around
and begins praying to the skies.

February 12, 2001

Skip

I hear your voice.
-skip-
I see your face.
-skip-skip-
I feel your touch.
-skip-skip-skip-
I taste your lips.
-skip-skip-skip-skip-
I feel your heart beat;
Skip
Just like mine,
SKIP!

April 30, 2001

Lust/Love

Coming back,
Circling behind,
Time past,
The pressing.
Lust/
Love
Returns again,
Rears around.
Where?
When?
Open myself
Once more;
Let down,
Left dead.
Intense wishes,
Intimate wants.
Flip this,
Flop that;
         Leave it,
            Lost inside...

November 16, 2001; 10:01 A.M.

Compose yourself,
Formulate your lies
And sleep quietly
Among your dreams.

None have to know
That you aren't happy
And never will be,
It's just a mask.

Force the smiles
That used to pour
From your lips
Which now frown.

Pry open the vault
Of happiness
Left dying in the dark
That once lived.

January 13, 2002

Running

Try to catch your breath
As you begin running.

Be still and flawless.
Now hurry, as I run.

Here you are,
Don't let me run.

Push me to the edge
And tie your shoes.

Feel my pain as I slow.
Take that breath.

Feel the warm air
In your heaving chest.

Join me for some tea,
Before I start running.

January 13, 2002

insDEADide

Burning red
Fading dull

Fall inside
Look up high

Numbness
Pain

Lost without
Mad within

Dead to thought
Alive for nothing

Awake?
Question?

Believe?
Dead.

September 10, 2004; 3:30 A.M.

Tears

   							down my face
   							 pieces in my hands
   							  salty death
   							   tiny shreds
						Glimmer,
     					  	  like the blade.
						Torn,
     					   	  like my faith.
	
			    	    		     d
						      o
                                                     w
							n
								my face
			     	    		   pieces in my hands.


September 12, 2004;  2:16 A.M.

Orion

I saw Orion tonight
and it made me hate you,
hate everything about you,
not to mention myself.

So high above me,
like everything in my life,
FALL, for once,
come to my level, FALL.

Fallen stars are broken dreams,
bright hopes are misconceptions.
Fall to hell,
break my dreams.

I saw Orion tonight
and it made me die;
I'm dead to everyone,
I'm dead to myself.

October 16, 2004; 2:00 A.M.

Wasting Time

Passionate Kisses,
but they're empty.

Sweet embraces,
but they're limp.

Dreamy dozes,
but they're meaningless.

Wandering strokes,
but they're futile.

Amorous phases,
but quick closures

Together
and
Alone

Kisses, embraces, dozes, strokes and phases,
and you don't mean any of it,
and I know it.

December 16, 2004; 3:07 A.M.

She Can't

She can't sleep
She can't dream
She can't breathe

Get off of her
Get away from her
Let go of her

She can't live
She can't smile
She can't love

He took her
He hurt her
He raped her

She can't see
He is free

December 16, 2004; 3:21 A.M.

The Collision of Her Kiss

Life,

spawning from beneath the gritty surface;

Browns emerge luscious greens;

Nourishing the existence it surrounds.



Mother Earth caressed his face as

the two-ton synthetic object rolled over his awkward body.



His weight was absorbed into her moist womb,

the way a newborn child is coddled.



The collision of her kiss upon his back made it so soft,

leaving him in tact,

treads across his chest and face.

*FIRST DRAFT*
February 11, 2005; 3:00 A.M.